Managing Mental Health as Kids Head Back to School

Welcome to “Ask the Expert,” a UTHealth Houston newsroom series where our leading physicians examine pressing health challenges. For the next month, we’re sharing tips on how families and kids can set themselves up for a healthy, successful school year. In this edition, we address how kids and teens can manage their mental health as a new year begins. 

The start of the school year brings new routines and new challenges for kids, teens, and their families. But these changes can also come with unexpected stress that can be overwhelming. 

Here’s how kids and teens can manage and maintain their mental health as the school year begins. 

This is a question I hear often. Summer is a time when many children and teens can pursue new hobbies or engage in other types of activities that support identity development. This can mean a redefinition of themselves and their peer group. Common related concerns might be anxiety about fitting in with others, potential bullying, or perhaps pressure to try out for new clubs or teams, especially if they are going to a new school. 

Create a space for your child to openly discuss these concerns with you and brainstorm ideas for addressing them. Telling them, “It will be fine,” without discussion may seem dismissive. 

Perhaps you can reach out to club or team captains and faculty sponsors in advance of the school year. Connecting beforehand can increase familiarity with the school’s teachers and students, as well as improve your child’s comfort level with the year ahead. Your child may also feel more confident knowing there are other students with common interests.

Sleep schedules often shift in the summer months. Teens in particular may stay up much later and sleep very late. Build in time to recalibrate bedtime and sleep schedules, starting at least two weeks before the first day of school. 

Although important for all ages, knowing what to expect from the back-to-school routine can be especially important for elementary-age children. Knowing who is dropping them off and picking them up, what time to be ready, and where they will be after school can help with the transition. Have them note this in a personal or family calendar so that everyone is aware. 

Overall, engaging in extracurricular activities can have profoundly positive impacts on mental health—including decreases in depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Of note, when we discuss parent strategies and punishment for misbehavior, we try not to take away children’s extracurricular activities because they offer such a strong protective factor. 

However, overscheduling or engaging in too many activities not only results in diminishing returns but can also have the opposite effect, resulting in more stress and burnout. Prolonged responses to either can harm us both physically and emotionally. Discuss scheduling with your child and consider the needs of your family. Children and teens who are high achievers may think they can do several activities or events and still excel in school. 

The question is not whether you can do it, but how it will affect your child and your family. Will it mean the family rarely eats a meal together? That other children in the family won’t be able to have time for their activities, or that parents never get a break? This can create a recipe for disaster for the whole family. Create limits around how many activities each child can engage in, with homework coming first. By doing so, you are also modeling healthy school-life balance and, later, work-life balance for them.

There are many things that you can do to support your child’s mental health during the school year. Although children may protest aspects of routine, most thrive with structure at home and school. Having a routine during the week with set bedtimes, morning wake-ups, and after-school routines can go a long way in reducing anxiety. 

When it comes to how things are going at school, it may be difficult for children to share things with you when they need help, especially if they are being teased or bullied. Instead of asking “How was your day?”—which may result in a response of “Fine” or “Okay”—try open-ended questions to create a platform for further discussion: 

• What was the best thing that happened today?

• What was the worst thing that happened today?

• What was something surprising that happened today?

• What made you smile today? 

When children open up to you, respond with curiosity and ask whether they want you to just listen or to help them problem-solve something that is happening. As a parent, you don’t have to focus only on fixing what is happening. They may surprise you in that they have already tried potential solutions (and good ones, too!) and are simply looking for emotional support and reassurance for their efforts. 

We can also model healthy coping strategies for our children, such as taking deep breaths, reaching out to friends when we need someone to talk to, taking a walk, or setting boundaries for ourselves to prioritize our mental health. You can narrate what you’re doing and why in order to demonstrate this. For example, “I know I’ve spent a lot of time in front of screens today, and I need to take a break. Too much screen time affects my mood.” We learn a lot by observation, especially from our parents!   

Creating space for these conversations is an excellent first step. Whereas having formal, intentional talks about mental health without any precipitating event may seem too intense or pressure-filled, talking during the daily car ride, dinner, or when getting ready for the next day may feel like a more natural time for talking and listening. Given they have your attention at these times already, they may be more likely to open up about their feelings to you, may not be surprised if you are asking about how they are feeling, and may be open to questions about mood-related changes. Routine check-ins about mental health at these times create a safe space for their discussion. 

Use age-appropriate words for feelings, and normalize the experience of them—ups and downs with emotions happen but are not intended to last forever. Sitting in any emotional state for too long may be cause for concern, so if you notice big changes in behavior or feelings that last for two weeks or longer, consider talking with your child’s pediatrician or school counselor to seek support.

(Newswise/HG)