An ongoing discussion in an anonymous United States physicians’ Facebook group has sparked debate about reproductive rights, consent, and ethics after a doctor shared a dilemma about embryo ownership during a possible divorce. The conversation reflects how even medical professionals struggle with the emotional and legal complexity surrounding assisted reproduction.
In in vitro fertilization, doctors fertilize an egg with sperm in a laboratory. The fertilized egg becomes an embryo. Clinics freeze embryos for future pregnancy attempts. Because an embryo contains genetic material from both partners, disputes about its use often involve legal, ethical, and emotional considerations, especially during separation or divorce.
Divorce and Embryos
My husband and I might be getting a divorce. I had cancer and thus we have two embryos.
I would like to keep my embryos, because I can no longer get pregnant spontaneously.
My husband would rather discard them.
According to our embryo agreement it says “in the event of a divorce, ownership will be directed by certified court decree and/or settlement agreement”. We live in California.
Any recommendations/advice?
Update: I really appreciate the recommendations and input.
I understand it’s a complicated issue.
We do have a toddler together before I got cancer. He wants another child, but won’t do it if we’re divorced. I get both sides. It’s just a difficult place to be in. Wish I froze eggs.
One of the members commented suggesting legal advice:
Please obtain a consultation from a reproductive lawyer. I have listed a few below. I believe all women making embryos with another person should consult a reproductive lawyer beforehand. Most of the legal forms signed in a fertility clinic are not sufficient when establishing ownership of embryos.
Another physician shared a similar experience
So hard. My REI told me although we had the same clause and they were “mine”, he had to agree to implantation. We are super amicable, so we had our second child after splitting up this way. Hoping for the best for you.
Anonymous member 265 said: I mean it’s half him, right? If he says no that should be the end of it. Otherwise even if not a financial responsibility such as child support, him knowing there is a child out there that is his may make him feel obligated to continue some kind of relationship. If your divorce is imminent and for him means severing ties completely that is going to complicate things significantly. Unfortunately it’s not just you and what you want. Because you want a child, it is not fair to involve someone who does not want to be in this situation. I think this is more of an ethical question rather than a legal one.
Anonymous member 379
I stayed in a marriage I knew I wanted out of just to transfer an embryo because I was afraid I would lose or have to essentially give up all power to keep them.
SilverNectarine6486 commented: Sorry you are going through this. I had two kids by IVF. Now divorced. We had one embryo left and he chose to discard. Despite the fact that I did all the paperwork and indicated ownership should fall to me in the event of a split, they would not have allowed me to implant without his consent. I also didn’t think it would be worth the legal battle to try to. Definitely wasn’t ready in the middle of a divorce either but I would have kept in storage until I felt ready. I also understand his perspective of not wanting a child that is genetically his that he does not raise. If this is the case and he absolutely does not want you to have them you can also consider embryo adoption in future.
Legal contracts, clinic policies, and personal autonomy do not always align. Even physicians who understand assisted reproduction face uncertainty when relationships end. The debate continues to balance reproductive rights, genetic parenthood, consent, and emotional responsibility.
