Swipe, Like, Ghost: The Quirky Psychology of Modern Dating Apps

Imagine ordering a boyfriend or girlfriend just like you order clothes, food, or your morning coffee. Why just imagine? In the 21st century, technology has made it possible to meet your soulmate through an app, where all it takes is swiping right for yes, or left for, maybe not this time.

Gone are the days when you could meet a partner over a conversation at the bar or through mutual friends. Nowadays, we meet people in a very different kind of playground, the digital playground. To be fair, it’s less of a playground and more of a battleground, where survival depends on your looks, quirky one-liners, and perfectly curated profile.

And yet, there’s no guarantee you’ll get chosen, because with an attention span shorter than a TikTok clip, your carefully crafted profile might get swiped into the wrong pile before anyone even notices.

MedBound times connected with psychologist Liza Hazarika (MA Clinical psychology) to understand the psychology behind the modern dating trends.

In this world of swipes, likes, and DMs, modern dating has become hyper-digital. As Lisa, points out, “Nowadays, we find partners through digital media, earlier it used to be like we see a person, we fall in love, we start talking, now it’s all apps and social media.”

The endless pool of options can feel liberating, yet puts people in dilemma, it also makes people indecisive: “The fear of always finding someone better is there nowadays, what if this person isn’t the one?"

She points out that today’s generation is more aware of relationship dynamics and cautious about repeating the struggles seen in older generations:

Psychologist Liza discussed that with the new dating terms people have got labels to put upon all their situations but they have also normalized being left and leaving people in the gray space of neither no, nor yes.

Micro-communications like liking an Instagram story or sending a meme have replaced clear conversations, creating a gray zone where boundaries blur and emotional investment becomes tricky.

Ambiguous relationships have real psychological effects. Lisa points out,

She said, “This kind of unclear situations or relationships gives us anxiety people don’t know where we stand in that person’s life, it questions the self-worth.”

She explains how one-sided investment and false hope can trap people:

The antidote to digital dating chaos? Awareness and clear boundaries.

Lisa advised, “Have very clear boundaries with the person, let the person know your non-negotiables, your own boundaries, your expectations because it gives clarity in your mind.”

And a reminder to have supportive, unbiased guidance:

She advised, “Have a friend with whom you can share and talk, a non-biased, unbiased friend, initially not to jump into frequent calls, frequent messages. Take time.”

_MSM