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Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
Sufi Motiwala asks:
How do you move on from someone you loved without hating them? So you could just forgive them, and if you ever remember them, you just think of good times and not hate them for what they did?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Moving on is messy. Some days you’ll remember the good, some days you’ll replay the bad. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. Forgiveness isn’t pretending the hurt didn’t happen, it’s refusing to let it control you forever. Hate keeps you tied to the person even more tightly than love did. If you want freedom, set boundaries: less contact, fewer reminders, more of your own life. You don’t need to rewrite the past as all sunshine. Keep it honest. Let time do its job. One day you’ll notice their name doesn’t sting as much, and that’s how you’ll know you’re truly free.
Someone Who Needs Help asks:
I feel stuck in my life, unable to follow through with plans, and often overwhelmed by shame and guilt. I also struggle to express my emotions to my family and feel mentally trapped by their expectations and past experiences. How can I start trusting myself, cope with these feelings, and build a path forward without feeling like a burden?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Shame is a liar. It whispers that you’re a burden so you stop trying. Don’t fall for it. Trust isn’t built in grand gestures; it grows in small promises kept. Pick something tiny today — finish a task, go for a walk — and do it. That’s how you prove to yourself that you can rely on you. When it comes to family, start small. One honest sentence is enough: “I’m finding things hard.” If they can’t hear it, that says more about them than you. A counselor or a trusted friend can hold space if your family can’t. Slow, steady steps will take you further than shame ever will.
Tatya asks:
How can I manage the feeling of being overwhelmed with work while also feeling drained by social interactions? I feel like I'm constantly on the edge, trying to keep up, but I don't know how much longer I can go like this.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: You’re not weak, you’re overloaded. Work drains you, people drain you, and you’ve left no time to recharge. First step: guard a slice of rest every day as if it’s a meeting you can’t skip. Next, cut your to-do list into two piles: “must do” and “nice to do.” Then throw away half of the second pile. With social life, shorter and fewer interactions are allowed. You don’t need to attend every chat, call, or dinner. And take that “edge” feeling seriously. Burnout doesn’t knock politely, it barges in. Rest now, before exhaustion makes the decision for you.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
Submit your question here!
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