How Can Parents and Educators Support Emotional Regulation in Children with Autism?

By Hunter Tomlinson

Emotional regulation is one of the most important—and often most challenging—skills for young children with autism to develop. Without effective tools, everyday situations like transitions, loud noises, or unexpected changes can quickly become overwhelming. For parents and educators alike, understanding how to support emotional regulation can transform not only a child’s behavior, but their overall sense of safety and success in the world.

Why Emotional Regulation Matters in Early Development

Children with autism often experience the world in heightened ways. Sensory sensitivities, communication difficulties, and social misunderstandings can all contribute to emotional distress. When emotional regulation is underdeveloped, it may show up as meltdowns, withdrawal, or impulsive behaviors.

Learning how to manage emotions is a building block for:

● Social interactions

● Academic success

● Independent living

● Mental health and self-esteem

Key Strategies to Foster Emotional Regulation

1. Create Predictable Routines

Children on the spectrum often thrive with structure. Predictable daily routines reduce anxiety by helping children know what to expect, which in turn minimizes emotional dysregulation.

Tips to Implement:

● Use visual schedules or calendars

● Prepare children for transitions with countdowns or visual timers

● Offer choices within routines to build autonomy

2. Teach Emotional Vocabulary

Many children with autism struggle to identify and express their feelings. Supporting emotional literacy through modeling and simple language builds a foundation for regulation.

Tools That Help:

● Feelings charts and emoji cards

● Storybooks about emotions

● Storybooks about emotions

● Storybooks about emotions

● Modeling self-talk (e.g., “I feel frustrated, so I’m taking deep breaths”)

3. Practice Co-Regulation First

Children learn regulation through connection. When an adult stays calm and supportive, they can help the child “borrow” their calm. This is known as co-regulation, and it’s especially important during emotional outbursts.

What This Looks Like:

● Offering quiet presence rather than verbal correction during distress

● Using gentle tone and body language

● Breathing slowly together

4. Integrate ABA-Informed Techniques

Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy provides structured methods for helping children build coping skills. ABA can help break down emotional regulation into small, achievable steps and reinforce positive responses.

Families in Illinois can access professional Chicago aba therapy through experienced providers who specialize in early intervention and emotional development.

Collaboration Between Home and School

When parents and educators work as a team, emotional regulation strategies become more consistent and effective. Open communication, shared goals, and consistency in expectations can support smoother experiences for the child.

Ideas for Collaboration:

● Create shared “calm-down” toolkits for use in home and school

● Use daily communication logs between teachers and parents

● Develop common language for feelings and coping strategies

Empowering the Whole Support System

Helping a child with autism learn to regulate emotions isn’t about eliminating all challenges—it's about building resilience. With patience, the right support strategies, and a network of trusted professionals, both parents and educators can foster meaningful growth.

For families looking to deepen their approach, working with local experts like ABA Revolution can offer valuable insight and structured support. When emotional development becomes a shared priority, the results ripple across every area of a child’s life.