Mind is a library of pain and pleasures, all those sins, temperaments, guilt, regrets, fears, taboos, and whatnot. There is enough evidence that proves that at times human beings are even ready to give up years of struggle and achievements for a moment of pleasure and peace.
You are taught various techniques to deal with misfortunes like thinking positive, meditating, working hard, and getting therapy, and so on. But maybe the simplest and the most practical way to deal with any misfortune is to accept the fact that some are in a worse situation than you. Maybe next time just take a time out to focus and think about how worse it could have been for you if you didn’t stop or if fate didn’t stop you
If you live amongst a population of 10 million, you will find approximately 12 million people who would be keen to show you your mistakes and 15 million who would love to give you some piece of advice, and a Trillion who would expect you to learn from their own experiences and others talk about sunshine, Unicorns and rainbows and what not.
The interesting question is, did you ask for it? Do people understand how you feel? Probably not. Sometimes you just need to take time out for yourself. Observe the threads of all the events happening around you, observe the details, and think about what went wrong. All you need is you and not who...
Who doesn’t like to sleep like a baby? People often ask why don’t you sleep at night, what do you do while you are up… well the simple fact is that it's not about Insomnia or being a night owl. It’s just the fact that maybe if you fall asleep, your world would crumble, and all the things that matter would slip away from your hands.
This fear doesn’t come out of pain or pleasure, it comes from experiences and observations. Maybe it's better to be awake and prepared than get a night of beauty sleep. Maybe, being miserable is a defense mechanism, maybe it's something that will save you from falling into the grasp of pseudo optimism and fake pleasures. Life is all about not giving up and keeping the shields up until we embrace the sweet darkness and peace.
Most battles can be won by making peace with yourself, by taking efforts to understand yourselves, and not by listening to podcasts, reading success stories or theories, and listening to people’s experiences, but by accepting yourselves as you are and knowing the fact that you are enough. It is better to fail because of your mistakes rather than failing because of someone else’s.
Never let them influence you, Momento Mori, life is indeed a one-way ticket, do everything that you wish to while it lasts.