Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
See also: Dr. Prerna Kohli Talks about Dealing with Aging Parents and Loneliness
Shreya asks:
I feel jealous that everyone is being loved by the opposite gender but just not me, why?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Ah, the classic “everyone but me” feeling. It looks very convincing, doesn’t it? But it’s rarely true. You’re noticing what others have and quietly ignoring what they don’t. Attraction and relationships don’t follow a fairness policy. It’s not a queue where your turn got skipped. Sometimes it’s timing, sometimes it’s confidence, sometimes it’s just visibility. And yes, sometimes you’re simply not noticing who is already interested. Jealousy here isn’t the problem. It’s information. It’s telling you that you want connection. Work on showing up as yourself instead of measuring your worth through attention. Being chosen feels nice. Being secure feels better.
Monica Geller asks:
How to have deep, open, soul-touching conversations with people?
In my house, nobody talks from their heart. Nobody shares what is bothering them deep down inside, unless it is some family drama or something from distant relatives. I have always found it difficult to have difficult conversations with my father. With my mother, it's alright. But when it comes to even saying "I love you" to my father or "I appreciate his efforts" in providing for us, all that he has done in my lifetime, or to tell him that he sometimes should not have done some things or not have said some things, I find it so difficult to approach this conversation or topic. I have the same difficulty in my other relationships as well. I overthink a lot and end up not sharing anything I want to share for the fear of making the other person uncomfortable. I also end up bawling my eyes out whenever I try to have an emotional conversation. That is also something I can't help myself with. Please help me how I can start to have these difficult conversations.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: You’re not bad at emotional conversations. You’re just unused to them. And your body is reacting before your words can catch up. That’s why the tears show up first. Start smaller. Don’t aim for a “soul touching” moment right away. Try one honest sentence. “I appreciate what you’ve done for us.” That’s enough. You don’t need a full speech. And yes, you may cry. Let it happen. Tears don’t ruin conversations. Silence does. Also, not everyone in the family may respond the way you hope. That’s hard, but it’s real. Deep conversations are built slowly. One uncomfortable truth at a time.
Mimi asks:
Are people who seek the help of psychologists generally those who cannot identify their emotions? Is it because they cant understand their feelings and feeling confused, they feel lost and in turmoil?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: No. That’s a common misconception. People don’t go to therapy because they’re incapable. They go because they’re tired of handling everything alone. Some struggle to name their emotions, yes. Others understand them perfectly and still feel stuck. Therapy is not about teaching basic feelings like a school lesson. It’s about making sense of patterns, reactions, and choices. It’s also about having a space where you don’t have to pretend you’re fine. Feeling lost doesn’t mean you’re broken. It often means you’ve outgrown your old ways of coping. And that’s usually where real work begins.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
Submit your question here!