Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
Sonam asks:
I am a very negative person and an overthinker. I can’t keep up with friendships or relationships because of my overthinking. I also have this obsessive feeling that a person is “mine” and shouldn’t talk to anyone else. Because of this, I can’t even make friends now and have been feeling very lonely. I end up falling in love with anyone who shows me even a little bit of attention. I don’t know what to do at this point.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: You’re not negative. You’re anxious and afraid of being left. That fear turns into overthinking, possessiveness, and quick attachment. When someone gives you attention, it feels like oxygen, so you cling. The problem is, closeness built on fear never feels secure. Start by slowing things down. Don’t label attention as love. Notice how quickly your mind jumps there. Work on building a life that doesn’t revolve around one person at a time. And yes, therapy would help. Not to fix you, but to teach you boundaries so connection doesn’t feel like survival. Loneliness eases when you stop trying to own people and start learning to stand steady on your own.
Casey asks:
What do you have to say about winter depression? Is it a real thing? I personally do feel low in terms of energy and mood, but not sure whether to call it depression.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Yes, it’s real. It’s called Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it’s linked to reduced sunlight, disrupted sleep, and lower serotonin levels. That said, feeling low in winter doesn’t automatically mean clinical depression. Many people feel slower, less motivated, and more withdrawn during colder months. The difference is impact. If your mood affects work, relationships, or daily functioning, it needs attention. Get sunlight when you can, keep a routine, move your body, and don’t isolate yourself. If the low mood lingers or deepens, talk to a professional. Winter may pass, but emotional heaviness often doesn’t without help.
Cory asks:
Is mental cheating a real thing? After marriage, if you feel attraction towards someone but never make any move, because you respect the boundaries of your marriage.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Attraction doesn’t stop at marriage. That’s biology, not betrayal. Mental cheating begins when attraction turns into secrecy, emotional dependence, or comparisons with your spouse. If someone else becomes your emotional refuge, that’s where damage begins. Noticing attraction and choosing not to act on it is actually commitment in action. What matters is what you do with the feeling. Acknowledge it, don’t feed it, and refocus on your marriage. Boundaries aren’t about blindness. They’re about deciding, again and again, where your loyalty lives.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
Submit your question here!