Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
What are some effective strategies you use to manage anger when encountering disrespectful behavior?
Disrespect stings, but reacting on impulse usually makes the mess bigger. The first thing I do is pause, even if it’s just for a breath. That tiny gap stops me from saying something I’ll regret. I remind myself that their behavior is a reflection of their state, not my worth. If the situation allows, I step away for a moment to cool off. Later, I address it calmly and directly. You don’t need to shout to set a boundary. And remember, not every insult deserves your energy. Save your fire for things that matter, not for someone having a bad day.
I feel like I am not loved, like amongst my friends or by my parents or that my boyfriend is only tolerating me, this feeling breaks me everyday, what should I do.
That ache you’re describing is heavy, and it usually comes from inside, not outside. When you feel unlovable, even good people start looking indifferent. Start by checking the stories you tell yourself. Are they facts, or fears dressed up as facts? Notice how quickly you dismiss kindness and latch onto doubts. Talk to someone you trust about how you feel; you might be surprised by their response. And please consider counselling. Not because you’re broken, but because you deserve to understand where this emptiness comes from. Love from others feels stronger when the love inside you isn’t running on fumes.
I tend to overthink small things. How can I stop my mind from constantly running?
Overthinking is like a hamster wheel; the faster it spins, the more trapped you feel. Start by catching the moment your thoughts start spiraling. Say stop in your head and shift your focus to something in the present — your breath, your feet on the ground, even the room around you. Make decisions with a time limit so you don’t analyze them to death. And try doing one small activity that absorbs you, like walking or journaling. If your mind keeps racing no matter what you try, talk to a professional. Sometimes the brain needs a little help learning how to slow down.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
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