Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
I had a crush on a guy for the first time in my life. Eventually, he became my boyfriend, and now my fiancé. Everything was going smoothly. I was head over heels about him, but now that everything has aligned, I feel empty. No feelings, no emotions, nothing. Have my feelings for him faded, or what exactly is happening? I don’t know what to conclude since this is my first relationship, and I hope it’s my last too.
What you’re feeling isn’t unusual. Sometimes the heart races during the chase and quiets down once things feel settled. It doesn’t mean the love is gone. It often means the fear, excitement, and uncertainty that kept your emotions buzzing have calmed. Now you’re left with reality instead of fantasy, and that can feel oddly flat. Give yourself time to adjust. Look at how he treats you, not just how intensely you feel. Love isn’t always fireworks; sometimes it’s steady and a little boring. If the emptiness continues or grows uncomfortable, talk to him and consider premarital counselling. Stillness can be normal, but silence deserves attention.
I am a very negative person and an overthinker. I can’t keep up with friendships or relationships because of my overthinking. I also have this obsessive feeling that a person is mine and shouldn’t talk to anyone else. Because of this, I can’t even make friends now and have been feeling very lonely. I end up falling in love with anyone who shows me even a little bit of attention. I don’t know what to do at this point.
You’re not negative, you’re scared. And the fear shows up as clinginess, jealousy, and quick attachment. When someone gives you a little warmth, you grab it tightly because you’re terrified it’ll disappear. The problem is, squeezing too hard pushes people away. Start by noticing the pattern instead of judging it. Don’t jump into calling something love just because it feels comforting. Slow down your responses when you meet someone new. Give relationships time to prove themselves. And please consider therapy. This isn’t about being dramatic, it’s about learning emotional boundaries so you don’t lose yourself in every connection. You deserve steady love, not desperate attachment.
The pollution is giving me health anxiety. Each time I step out, I feel I might choke to death or get some new lung disease. What should I do?
Pollution is a real problem, and anxiety loves real problems because they give it endless material. But worrying every time you step outside isn’t protecting you, it’s exhausting you. Take the practical steps: mask up, avoid peak hours, keep your room air clean. After that, remind yourself that you’ve stepped out many times and survived just fine. Your body is stronger than your fear suggests. When the panic rises, slow your breathing and ground yourself with a simple fact: you are safe in this moment. If the anxiety keeps hijacking your day, talk to a professional. Your lungs aren’t failing, your thoughts are running wild.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
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