Sex, intimacy, and relationships can change throughout different stages of life, often leaving people with questions they may find difficult to discuss openly. Whether it is adjusting to parenthood, navigating changing desires, or understanding emotional disconnection, these experiences can feel confusing and isolating.
In this edition of Sex, Love & Life (SLL) – Ask an Expert, Dr. Anjalika Atrey, psychiatrist, sexologist, and therapist, answers three honest questions sent in anonymously by readers, offering science-backed guidance with empathy, clarity, and zero judgment.
Have a question of your own? You can submit it anonymously here:
Your identity will remain confidential. Questions may be edited for clarity, length, grammar, and privacy before publication. This column is intended for educational purposes and does not replace personal medical consultation.
New Parent asks:
After childbirth, my husband no longer tries to initiate intimacy. I don’t understand why this has changed. Is this normal after becoming parents, or could it mean something is wrong in our relationship?
Changes in intimacy after childbirth are much more common than most couples expect.
The arrival of a baby brings significant physical, emotional, and lifestyle adjustments for both partners. Exhaustion, sleep deprivation, stress, hormonal changes, body image concerns, and the demands of caring for a newborn can all influence sexual desire and intimacy.
It is important not to immediately assume that a lack of initiation means a loss of love, attraction, or interest. Sometimes, a partner may be struggling with their own adjustment to parenthood and may not know how to express it.
Open and non-judgmental communication is often the best place to start. Instead of focusing on what is missing, try talking about how both of you are feeling and what intimacy means to you during this stage of life.
If the emotional or physical distance continues and begins affecting the relationship, couples counselling or sex therapy can help create a safe space for understanding and reconnection.
Thinking 🤔 asks:
I don't think I like sex as such. Before marriage, I never felt that urge or craving. Even after marriage, I feel the same. Even if I try to participate, my body doesn't allow me to. Though my partner is very understanding, should I consult a doctor? I feel empty during the process. Like, I can't even process what's going on with me. I just want to run away from everything, not just this part, but from each and every part. Sometimes, I feel like I should disappear. Where, I don't know?
Not everyone experiences sexual desire in the same way, and there is no single "normal" level of interest in sex. Some people naturally experience low sexual desire, while for others, emotional, psychological, or relationship-related factors may influence how they feel about intimacy.
What stands out in your question is not only your lack of interest in sex, but also the feelings of emptiness, disconnection, and wanting to run away from everything. Those emotions deserve attention and care.
When someone feels emotionally numb, overwhelmed, disconnected from themselves, or wishes they could simply disappear, it may indicate that there is deeper emotional distress that needs to be understood.
Seeking help from a psychiatrist or therapist would be a positive step, not because something is "wrong" with you, but because you deserve support, clarity, and a safe space to explore what you are experiencing.
You do not have to figure this out alone. Understanding yourself better is not a sign of weakness. It is an act of self-care.
This is your space to ask, share, and learn. Write to Sex, Love & Life – Ask an Expert with your questions on sex, intimacy, relationships, marriage, emotional wellbeing, or sexual health. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
