Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
See also: Spill Your Feels: Honest Mental Health Advice by Dr. Prerna Kohli
Shreya asks:
I struggle with keeping my anger at one place. I get affected when someone taunts me, even jokingly. It irritates me and ruins my mood.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: You’re not too sensitive. You’re probably already carrying tension. So when someone jokes at your expense, even lightly, it lands on a full shelf and everything falls. The anger is not about the taunt alone. It’s about feeling disrespected or unseen. Ask yourself this: does it hurt because it’s true, or because it feels unfair? If a joke keeps bothering you, say calmly that you don’t enjoy it. You don’t need a speech. If your mood collapses over small comments, your emotional bandwidth may be low. Rest, clearer boundaries, and fewer silent resentments can help. Anger shrinks when self respect grows.
Khushi asks:
My mother-in-law keeps bugging me about cleaning the house even though it’s very tidy. Does she have OCD?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Probably not. OCD is not just liking things clean. It involves intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that cause real distress and interfere with life. What you describe sounds more like control, habit, or anxiety about standards. Some people manage their inner unease by managing their surroundings. The issue here is less about diagnosis and more about boundaries. You can say you prefer to manage the house your way. Repeat it gently. Don’t turn it into a hygiene debate. This is about territory, not dust.
Nina asks:
What is self-love? Why is it so difficult? If we love ourselves, won’t we have expectations? Even though my life seems stable and healthy, I feel empty and lost. Sometimes I wonder if I have unresolved trauma. Why do I feel this emptiness?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Self-love is not spa days or slogans. It is treating yourself with steadiness, especially when you fall short. It’s difficult because many of us learned achievement before affection. Loving yourself doesn’t mean lowering expectations. It means not abandoning yourself when you miss them. Stability does not automatically create meaning. You can have a healthy relationship and still feel untethered. Sometimes emptiness is old grief. Sometimes it’s a lack of purpose. Sometimes it is unresolved trauma asking for attention. If the feeling lingers, explore it in therapy. Emptiness is not ingratitude. It’s a signal.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
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