Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
Zinx asks: How to balance money matters as a couple? How to manage money talks?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Money talks go wrong when they start as accusations instead of conversations. Most couples fight about money, but what they’re really fighting about is control, fear, or feeling unheard. Start talking when there’s no crisis. Be clear about incomes, expenses, debts, and expectations. Values matter more than numbers. One partner may want security, the other freedom. Neither is wrong. Decide what’s shared and what’s personal. Transparency builds trust. Secrecy destroys it quietly. Managing money together isn’t about winning arguments. It’s about building a life that feels fair to both.
XYZ asks: I feel guilty if I don't overwork. Then, I regret I don't have time for me. My company also makes me feel I am a bad person if I don't overwork and if I present my concerns. They compare me with others by saying they have a lot of things to do. They also overload me with new tasks ignoring my current workload. I don't know till when I am going to be here. What I learned is take your salary and do bare minimum to survive if they don't value you or growth which almost everyone is doing in the company except a few. I don't know what I should do.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: You’re not lazy. You’re exhausted. Guilt is often used by unhealthy workplaces to squeeze more out of people. Comparing workloads is manipulation. Overworking won’t earn respect; it will only drain you faster. Do your job well, not endlessly. Set boundaries in writing and stop over explaining. If the culture rewards burnout, start planning your exit quietly. Work matters, but not at the cost of losing yourself.
Madumita asks: how long will it take for marriage counselling to start working? I am not understanding whether it will be useful for us. how to know if it's working for us? What to expect in it?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Marriage counselling isn’t instant relief. Early sessions may feel uncomfortable as real issues surface. Progress shows when conversations change, not when fights disappear. You’ll notice less blame, more listening, and greater clarity. It works only if both partners participate honestly, not to win arguments. Counselling doesn’t force marriages to survive. It helps couples decide, with clarity and respect, what they are truly capable of building together.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
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