Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
Corporate Victim asks: My workplace is toxic. Seniors dump their work on me because I’m new. I’m exhausted and burning out. A few colleagues are nice, but I don’t know how long I can tolerate the toxicity. Should I quit or wait?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Toxic workplaces rarely settle down. They settle in. Being new doesn’t mean being expendable. Before quitting, set clear limits in writing. Document workloads and deadlines. If nothing changes, listen to your exhaustion. Burnout is not a badge of honor. Enjoying a few colleagues isn’t a reason to sacrifice your mental health. Sometimes staying teaches people you’ll tolerate anything. Leaving can be self respect, not failure.
JokesWriteThemselves asks: Why do people who clearly need therapy look down on those who go to therapy and believe asking for help is weakness?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Because admitting pain is frightening. Denial feels safer than insight. If they accept therapy works, they’d have to face their own wounds. Mockery becomes a shield. It’s defense, not confidence. People who belittle therapy often survive by pretending they’re fine. Growth threatens fragile egos because it exposes what’s been avoided. You’re right. Asking for help takes courage. Staying unchanged does not.
XYZ asks: I have a very traumatized past. My family keeps pushing me to get married and uses abusive words, saying I’ll never do anything big. I’ve survived sexual assault and emotional abuse. Even after years, I still feel suicidal. I rant a lot, I’ve taken medication and therapy, but emotionally I feel unchanged. I don’t know what to do.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: Feeling suicidal years after trauma does not mean you’re weak or failing therapy. Trauma doesn’t follow calendars. Your family’s pressure is reopening wounds that never received safety. Ranting helped you survive, but survival isn’t healing. Marriage is not your task right now. Safety is. Tell your therapist clearly about suicidal thoughts, even if you’ve said it before. You may need a different therapeutic approach, not more endurance. Limit conversations that leave you shattered. You are not broken. You are injured, and injuries need protection and the right care.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
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