Welcome to Spill Your Feels – a special weekly column on MedBound Times where readers can send in their queries on mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, marriage, and sex. Each week, Dr. Prerna Kohli shares her insights and practical advice to help you navigate challenges and live a healthier life. From stress and parenting to work-life balance and relationships, this column sheds light on the everyday pressures of life with compassion and expertise.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is an eminent clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Aligarh Muslim University, UP, India. Awarded among the 100 Women Achievers of India by the President of India, she is a public speaker, researcher, and social worker. With decades of experience, Dr. Kohli specializes in issues such as substance abuse, parental and marital counselling, relationship challenges, eating disorders, depression, and more.
See also: Spill Your Feels: Dr. Prerna Kohli Talks about Anger Management, OCD and Self-Love
Kumari asks: Sometimes when someone speaks to me in a slightly rude tone, I feel hurt for a long time. Even if the matter is small, I replay the conversation again and again in my mind. Why do I react so emotionally to small situations, and how can I build emotional strength so that I stay calm and balanced?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: What you are describing is not weakness. It is rumination. Your mind keeps replaying the moment as if it can somehow rewrite it. Unfortunately, it never does. People who are thoughtful and sensitive often take tone very personally. A careless comment becomes a long emotional echo. The first step is noticing the loop. When your mind starts replaying the scene, gently interrupt it. Ask yourself one blunt question: Is this still happening, or only in my head? Most of the time it is the second. Emotional strength does not mean, not feeling hurt. It means deciding how long the hurt gets to stay.
Not a robot asks: As we grow older, I find it difficult to accept that my parents are aging and becoming more fragile. It makes me anxious and emotional because I still see them as strong and protective. How can we cope with seeing our parents grow older and accept this natural circle of life?
Dr. Prerna Kohli: This realization is one of adulthood’s quiet shocks. One day you notice your parents moving a little slower, worrying a little more, leaning on you in ways they never did before. The roles begin to shift. And yes, it hurts. Because the people who once felt indestructible suddenly look human. The truth is, nothing has gone wrong. Life is simply moving forward. Instead of fighting the sadness, allow it to soften you. Spend more time with them. Ask questions about their stories. Let the relationship evolve. Loving aging parents is not about denying the change. It is about showing up for them the way they once showed up for you.
Kyu batau asks: I want to die. I feel lonely even among people. I feel incomplete and crave to be loved the way I love others. I got hurt deeply. When I try to switch off my emotions, I feel nothing at all. Just emptiness.
Dr. Prerna Kohli: When someone says they want to die, I hear pain, not drama. The emptiness you describe often comes after deep emotional hurt. It is the mind’s way of protecting itself when loving has felt too costly. Shutting down feelings may seem like safety, but it also blocks warmth and connection. Please do not carry this alone. Speak to a therapist, a counselor, or a trusted person in your life and tell them honestly how heavy things feel. Right now, your mind is telling you a very convincing story that you are alone and unloved. Stories told by pain are rarely reliable. You deserve support while you find your way back to feeling again.
This is your space to ask, share, and reflect. Write to Spill Your Feels with your queries on relationships, mental health, marriage, or personal struggles. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming editions of this column on MedBound Times.
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